My cat likes Bowie, and shit, The 10th of May ...

     Video of my wee beast enjoying a bit of Bowie. 

Okay, so you may recall that I knew the 10th of May was significant for reasons beyond my doctor's appointment (ADD or not, we'll find out). I thought, is that my long-absent adoptive father's birthday, or mother's day, or some kind of historical event? As it turns out, it is of course the date for Julie's operation.

Julie is Lisa's older sister and she's got what was first pronounced an inoperable brain tumour. That was a year ago, and they're now saying that if they don't operate then she'll definitely die. It can go either way with an operation though. Hardcore. So that's what's happening on the 10th of May. I'm not sure what the results are supposed to be if the operation is successful. If she lives, what will her quality of life be?

I'm taking forever to unpack. On the upside, I've had great company over the last week. I saw Peter on Wednesday and we went for a jaunty walk, then Andrew on Thursday, and then I caught up with the Painter on Friday. I was pretty nervous about catching up with the Painter. 

Even though I felt all fine the last time I saw him, I did want to be honest. The truth is, I want to be friends with this person even though I was horribly hurt. I really want to live what I say I believe, and I do believe that heart felt forgiveness (and not the sort that makes someone 'wrong' and 'guilty' in order to elevate one's own ego and desire to be 'right') is the only way forward. I also wanted an apology, not expressions of his own self-pity, and when he understood what sorry was to me, he was able to look at me and deliver. I really appreciated it. Sure, some might say I'm just too soft, but look at what happens to people who are hard. They're no fucking fun!

With the unpleasant business of feelings and truth bought up and dealt with, I can honestly say I think there is a good chance to have the sincere and silly friendship with this guy that I was supposed to have had. 

Saw Marconi Receiver last night, Tam's band! Really really good, so incredibly proud of her and all the work she's done. The whole band just kicked it in the head, they sounded so sweet and good. I was smiling the whole time. 

Me and Tam


So darlings, remember, apologies aren't hard, manners are hot, music is necessary and marmite will return.

xxxx