It's nearly 2012. Shit!

Another oldie ... seems to fit with the vibe though.






Pictures: Mum and Claire at Piha RSA on Boxing day, Claire on her phone thing at Piha, a few pics from White Beach ... and my reunion with Lou and Becks!

I've done a little witchy ritual to let go of any fears and anxieties from 2011, and to invite in what I want for 2012. Lit candles, burnt the list of the unwanted.



The collective unconscious must be gathering speed; I can feel change in my body if I sit still. It feels like a wave in me. The way you feel when you've been on a boat or jumping around in waves all day at the beach, only it's in my blood or that which we might call Soul.

I've asked Jesus and Lady Death, two wonderful representations of divinity I feel I can relate to, to give me a bit of a hand this year. I already notice what's been at work - old and tired energies are leaving. Friendships are shifting too. I actually did a prayer to Lady Death regarding people in my life: show me what I need to let go of and bring in that which is good. That week some pretty amazing shit happened, but I'm not at liberty to describe all of it as I'm still unsure as to what's happening in a friendship.

I've been re-reading some of "Women Who Run With The Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Estes is a Jungian analyst who 'draws on a huge range of myths and stories to teach us how we can reclaim, and rejoice in, our true feminine power'.

Lady Death/Skeleton Woman:

'If it is love we are making, even though we are apprehensive or frightened, we are willing to untangle the bones of the Death nature. We are willing to see how it all goes together. We are willing to touch the not-beautiful in another, and in ourselves. ....
Archetypally, to untangle something is to make a descent, to follow a labyrinth, to descend into the underworld or the place where things are revealed in an entirely new way, to be able to follow a convoluted process ...
Fear is a poor excuse for not doing the work. We are all afraid. It is nothing new. If you are alive, you are fearful." (Pg 147 and 148, WWRWTW.)


I'm trusting that the Divine (higher self whatever you want to call it) knows what it's doing if I'll just listen and let things unfold. Know my boundaries, be clear about my intentions, then watch what happens. Speak my truth without trying to guilt anyone out. Admit when I'm a dick. Walk away if someone else is too much of a dick. Sounds quite simple when I put it like that really.

What I also want is to bring a loving meaning to the world. I don't mean I have to touch a million souls. Just a few is enough for me. I know I've done it before. I want to keep doing it.

Years ago an old flatmate rang me out of the blue. I hadn't seen her for years.
"I just wanted to thank you" she said.
"Oh! For what?"
"Well when I was in that flat it was one of the hardest times of my life, and I don't know if I would have lived if you weren't there."

If ever I'm feeling a bit down, I need to remember that. I made a big difference to someone. She thinks I helped save her life. All I ever did was hug her when she walked in the door, looked into her drug fucked eyes and kept telling her I loved her. That was long ago. She didn't keep in touch, and I knew why. Some experiences from that time had to be left behind, and I was part of that history. It doesn't hurt me because I get it. I love her still, though she's not someone I ever see.

So the theme song now would be 'wave of mutilation'.

Happy new year


Love to you all. Keep with it. xxx