Happy New One!!! You survived or thrived. Well done.
New Year's was exactly what I wanted: low key, good company, lots of laughter. Went to Lou and Johnny's in Devonport (feels like I've slipped into Lou's life like a cat). Lou lives next door to her parents in an amazing old villa, and she and Johnny make you feel so welcome, they are so easy to be with.
I also got to meet Eliza, a charming quirky bird, long limbed and elfin. I told them about my new year ritual, and the girls were keen to perform it - the writing of what must be burnt and let go, the invoking of a wave of positive intention. Very witchy pooh.
New year striking was kind of funny; we jumped in the car at the last minute and were all yelling various instructions as to what to do, where to go, why, why not, oh my god look at all the fucking losers gathered in Devonport! We ended up somewhere opposite Devonport food town staring up at the Sky Tower; shrouded in forboding grey clouds it was pronounced "mushroom cloud apocalyptic". Becky was disgusted.
"Well that was fucking pathetic!"
Yeah. Fucking clouds. How could they? Then we started to think of how funny it was that all these people had probably waited for ages to see all these fireworks, waited with their little necks craning upwards, sunflowers searching for an elusive sun. Eliza was concerned that we might have all hugged prematurely for new year, and for some reason this struck all of us as really funny. "Don't go giving away hugs if you don't need to" taunted Becky with her classic laugh.
It was then onto the beach to do the old year/new year ritual. Lou was coughing deep in her chest. The wind was blowing hard, and what was first exhilarating soon became a bit cold and uncomfortable, sending us running back towards the shelter of a large tree. I put my hand on a slug. Eliza screamed when a small shrubby sprung out from the base of the tree. She said it looked like a possum. I admit, I saw it too. The possum shrub. It lay in wait for that moment.
We all kept laughing at anything and everything and we weren't even intoxicated. I guess we all just got high off being around each other - around other people who are mad, ridiculous, loving and bold. I love that. I need that.
We went to the other side, over by some Navy Museum (where the girls burnt up the list of things to let go off with manic enthusiasm), where it was sheltered. I instructed the girls on what to do to let go of past shit and embrace this new wave, to yell out 'I feel different!' and such.
Johnny smiled and tolerantly waited in the car. Lou was losing strength, coughing like an old man on the street. We all ended up somewhat thrilled though, our feet doused in the ocean, the current pulling away any guilt, sorrow or self doubt contained in 2011. Ha, I can imagine Lou saying that in a sarcastic way "oh, it was thrilling!".
But you know, it was thrilling. To be with good people who 'get' you. To not have to be anything more or less than exactly what and who you are. To share your hopes for the new year.
I have an old friendship that appears to be dying off, yet as it's done so, these other connections have sparked back up. Here's the phoenix. Who'd have thought a spark remained in ashes for so long? As for the old friendship - it would be lovely if she came through, but I'm not going to bend over backwards and eat shit for anyone anymore. That's over. O.k, exaggeration. I might bend over backwards and very occasionally eat shit if you are sometimes willing to do the same for me.
Now, if you see me, remind me I am not allowed to do charity work on the internet dating site. I am such a knob sometimes. Oh, and thanks to a certain friend, we now know why you call someone a 'knob' or 'nob' as an insult. I imagine it's derived from 'snob'. Imagine is all, I haven't researched it. The other would be that there really are men who have very short, thick penises that actually do resemble door-knobs.So calling someone a door knob style cock isn't very pleasant is it?
Anyway, what I'm meaning to ask is that you remind me not to do charity work on net dating. For example, I've continued talking to this guy on the dating site who is possibly intellectually disabled or extremely Aspergers ... or he's taking the piss.
I want to help him. I want to give him advice on how to talk to people, that if you like a woman you might want to ask her a few questions before asking if she'll sit on your face (and he wrote LOL). Yeah, when I put it like that, I think I might have to leave the educating to someone else. Curse of the teacher. My burden: to want to educate every fuck wit that crosses my path! Ha ha!!
Well, we're all just doing the best we can aren't we? Fuckwits and nobs, bitches and dogs, saints and sweethearts all.
Love and light. xxx
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