Christmoo Eve! I'm content! Yes, really!!!

Christmoo Eve:

Well my little reindeer pies, it's been a right whirlwind of delights lately, and no, I'm not being sarcastic.

Last Wednesday, thanks to Tamasin's kind persistence, I ended up joining her and associated posse to see Andrew Keoghan playing at the Q bar. I found his music incredibly healing and transformative. His voice is really pure; something holy in me unfolded in the hushed light. I particularly like gigs where it's quite small, still personal somehow.

On Thursday I went to Bikram Yoga and took ages to recover at the end of the class. I lay there breathing through my nose like a woman in labour (well, the ones I've seen on TV anyway). I then had burgerfuel (mmm) and onto Golden Dawn to meet up with Lou and Becky. Now folks, these are girls I went to high school with, and in all honesty, I never imagined I'd feel the need to truly re-connect with anyone from high school again. Fortunately facebum made me see the error of my ways and these two fine women are now back in my life in a very real way.





It was amazing to sit and look at people who are at once completely familiar and yet you do not know what's been going on for them for 15 to 20 years. You only know via a social network, and it's a social network in which it's possible to manipulate your image for better or worse. Even if depressed you'd be able to paste on a smile and put it on Facebum to prove you're actually ok. Or maybe you're trying to show the world you're moody, mysterious and not about to let the facebum founders get any free marketing info, so you pretend you're a man if you're a woman and put up one of those Walmart shopper pictures for your profile.

Heart Magical, not Mental Magical:

Er, yes, getting back on track. Becky now lives in New York and is here on holiday, Lou is in Devonport with her husband and yet we were talking as though we'd only seen each other the previous week. Actually, it was better. It was far better than I could have imagined, because now it's like we're the technicolour version of our childish selves. We're coloured in. We have lines. We have stories. We have an awareness of the story itself and how we choose to tell it. It was magical, and I don't mean mental magical, I mean heart magical. That feeling, that 'being seen-ness', and also the privilege of seeing. The wisdom of these two, the tenderness of heart, it was that feeling of 'home' in another soul.

Afterwards I called in to say hello to Alice as she was supporting her man playing in a band up the road. Music was not exactly my cup of tea, but it was good to see sweet Alice.

Another reunion: Handsome Rob!

So on Friday, I got to see Rob! Now I don't know if you'd remember that I did a foundation year of art and design in 1992. That's the one where my friendship with Chris continued, and I used to sit at this table with the boys. I recall this girl Sally who was in our class. That's the Sally who had the misfortune to marry Mathew Ridge. She was quiet and stuck with the only other girl in the class who'd gone to 'Dio'. The boys all used to get instant hard-ons around Sally.

I had the gall to ask her what it was like to 'look the way you do' on one occasion, and she got really pissed off and said "I'm just like anyone else". I said "well yeah, except you look like a model, so surely you must have to deal with a different set of reactions" (As I sat with the boys I knew they were in awe of her long limbed, blonde be-blazered glory). There was a girl in the class who started wearing a blazer to copy Sally. We all knew it. I don't remember her name. Sally couldn't deal with my direct questioning about the beauty myth (ha ha, that hadn't come out yet) but seemed insulted. She might have pondered it since, but then, maybe not. A nice enough girl though. Wore blazers very well.

Ah, got distracted there didn't I? Well, back to Handsome Rob. Rob was one of the most brilliant artists in the class. He and Chris had that incredible technical proficiency coupled with imagination. I had imagination. Rob did things far beyond all expectation, he was a fucking genius.

We remained friends for a number of years beyond art school, and much of our connection involved way too much drinking, talking and thinking. It's now a bit of a mystery as to how the friendship tapered off. Perhaps it was because I spent so much time with Sarah and now spent every weekend binge drinking with her? I can't quite remember to be honest. There were overlaps. There were (eek) casks of red wine. There were more embarrassing stories than you took shake a dirty old stick at.

What I remember of Rob was his intelligence, gentleness, excess drinking and amazing level of talent. Seeing him this week was incredible. He's the most amazing man. He's married a woman he is clearly deeply in love with, and he's as kind, insightful and gentle now as he was 20 years ago. Now it's mellowed. It's fucking gold! Alchemy in people is the most beautiful thing to ever behold. I am so looking forward to meeting his wife at some point.

Dinner with Simon

So last night I had dinner with Simon. A very nice dinner at a posh set up on the waterfront. No, I'm not back in love with him, but it was good to see him, and sure, there is an amazing physical chemistry. That's ok. I have it in perspective.

Afterwards I called in to the Thirsty Dog because Fliss was playing keyboards in a metal covers band. It was already late, and I lost her. I drank a lemon lime and bitters and observed the crowd. The first band up were this throwback to the eighties, M.O.M. Was it ironic? I don't know. I grew weary and left. I couldn't cope with the leather trousers.

I fell into bed when I got home. Yes. Content. No anxiety wheels turning. Free and floating into dreams.