Haikus are Bloody Easy!

Scottish Sean, due to your wonderful haiku that ended with 'refrigerator' I decided to look up how to write a haiku, something I have avoided all my life. Turns out they're piss easy and quite satisfying to do. Pick a topic, any topic, and I'll write one. Send me comments, give me feedback, you wanna haiku on pooh? I will do it.

Here's my very first Haiku - all you have to do is write three lines. The first has five syllables, the second has seven, and the last is five again.

Internet dating
Cerebral masturbating
Or the chance to love?

Here's another:

Rinse and stack the dishes
otherwise flies gather
and this is no good

I think this is the thing, maybe writing Haiku's is addictive? What are the chances?
Have I misunderstood something along the way? Am I making a big Haiku mistake? If I am do tell me, but I doubt it will stop me writing these things.

A Haiku mistake
I pondered this for a time
Slide the mind sideways

Oh the endless fun we can have writing very annoying little Haikus. What else? What about Moon Time? (Having your period).

Bled in my underpants
and so took them off quick smart
and flung them skyward

Ok, so the quality of my haiku may not be the best, but at least I'm giving it a good go.

Mr Spanky

Speaking of a good go, T is on the dating site now and yesterday she met up with a guy she has coined Mr Spanky.

The signs were not positive. T does not like striped shirts. She's fit and thin, and though she wouldn't be Hitleresque about it, she would be best suited with a man who isn't dragging around too much extra weight and who possibly does Yoga. He also has to have a sweetly hedonistic streak without be an all out drug dealer.

Thing is, right from the outset, the quy she chatted to via the emaily thing on the dating site did have a picture of himself in a striped shirt. He's also from the North Shore, not that this has to be a deal breaker, but it is a cultural divide that has to be taken into consideration. He asked T "If you had a choice between being thrown over a shoulder, or a lap for a spanking, which would it be?". T chose the shoulder, but then after that, Mr Spanky kept on making comments about Piha and string bikinis, and she became increasingly anxious.
"Oh no Candice, he keeps going on about string bikninis!"
In addition to these factors was that he was a bit of a chubby bubby.

T bravely forged ahead, but when she got home I thought it might have gone ok because she did spend an hour and a half with him. No. She was being polite and didn't really know how to leave. Sadly, even on a Sunday, he was still wearing a striped shirt (shit, this really puts me off them too, and I've never minded them before) and after their coffee date he texted T and wanted to know if he could take her out to dinner and then give her a spanking.
"But I didn't even say I wanted a spanking" she lamented. His own fantasy ran away with him. His overblown chubby bubby striped Ego went AWOL.
"He's corporate, so he's probably had a sheltered life" said Tieneke. Yeah, all beer and skittles makes Spanky a dull boy. What's funny is that he might not be sheltered, but his idea of what's funny or interesting, or even sexy, when first meeting someone, differed so greatly from hers.

I am still in touch with The Lovely Man. He's got a few practical things to deal with, but it would be nice to see him again. No hurry though.

Oh, been right into the GARDEN lately! That brings on a haiku.

lettuces grow green
fingers stained with soil and sun
swan plants stretch to blue

Oh, I had a drinks date with Mr Thicky yesterday. I can't even tell you about it, it was too depressing. Here's a haihu about it instead:

Is ignorance bliss?
I feel like asking him this
but I am not cruel.

So folks, another day, another lack of the dollar. Feedback welcome.
I'd like to say thanks to everyone reading as I was amazed to see on the 'stats' that I've had 2,218 views of this blog to date. This isn't counting my own views, ha ha!

To the four people in the Netherlands, I thank you.

Lots of love to all, because that's my thing. The Love! Love love love.