Tuesday blog
Well my pretty ponies,
I had grand intentions of going to yoga tonight, but I spent too long at the office in New Market, got hungry and had to have burger fuel.
The new earlier start out at Takanini mean I have to be Miss Early Pants at bed time.
"can I have a conversation with you?".
"You can try" I replied.
He came inside and lurched too close to me.
"Can I have conversation with you?" his breath was of the alco-pop variety.
"As I said, you can try, but when my food comes I want to eat alone."
I asked what he’d been drinking. He named something I’d never heard of.
"Ok," he said "give me a topic to talk about".
"Ok, the nature of reality. Are we really here or is it all an illusion? Have we created it?"
"Ah, it's real. God made it, and he made Adam, and then Eve was made out of his left rib and that was near his heart."
He continued in this vein.
"So were you raised Christian?" I asked
"Yeah, yeah I was."
"Have you ever thought about how people in churches might take things like biblical mythologies and distort them for their own need for power?"
"Nah. Nah I haven't thought of that."
His curly haired friend proffered a stubby butt of ciggarette towards the window that separated us.
"Nah, nah, I don't wanit" said Drunk Bible Boy. His friend smoked the last of his tailor made and then came inside. He didn’t say anything, but he was smiley and his eyes were bloodshot.
A couple of good looking young guys walked past and Drunk Boy shot them a look saying
“see that cunt, that brown guy, well once when I was playing video games he came up to me and he had piss on his hands and he wiped them on my face because I wouldn’t give him any alcohol. I woulda ... he’s lucky he’s related to a friend of mine, I woulda ...”, he lightly punches his fist into the palm of his other hand.
I agreed it wasn’t good, having someone wipe piss on your face. Not nice at all.
His friend sat and listened, not saying a word, still with a goony smile on his face.
My food arrived.
“Well, I’d like to eat alone now.”
“Oh, yeah, yeah,” he put his hand on my knee, “sorry.”
“No need to be sorry. You asked if you could have a conversation with me and I agreed.”
“The truth is,” he leaned in too close to whisper to me,
“I came to talk to you because I haven’t had sex for nine months.”
I smiled.
“Well I’m actually old enough to be your mother, and I had sex this weekend.”
He registered surprise only briefly before quickly gathering his thoughts.
“Nah, nah, well how old are you?”
“I’m forty.”
“Oh, oh, ah, well,” (shit, that’s a bit older than he anticipated)
“ ... that is ... well I am used to being with older women you see”
“And now it’s hard to go back because older women are good and know what they’re doing?”
“Yes! Yes that’s right.”
“Well I wish you luck, and just have a good toss every morning in the meantime.”
“But a toss isn’t as good.”
“Well of course not, but it does.”
“yeah, yeah ...” he said sadly and then said his goodbyes.
They stood outside for far too long and I tried not to look at them. Wanted to eat my burger in peace. Eventually they toddled off and I waved goodbye.
So that was my strange little Burger Fuel story. I should have gone home and got my yoga gear on. I could be doing downward facing dogs right now. Ah well, at least I did a good lot of walking today.
I’m so tired though, and on Friday I’ll go to the doc and find out if I’m low in iron or if it’s just my constitution.
I went off as I’d decided I needed a rest from it, but I’d already agreed to meet David. Maybe I should go back on, seems imbalanced to date someone who is still taking part of that medium when I'm not, and obviously we're just getting to know each other.
On the topic of forgiveness I’ve realised how entwined it is with everything.
It’s now Day 10 (missed a few) of forgiveness and on day 9 I looked at how forgiveness is this release from guilt, and that a release from guilt is the expansion of love and freedom.
I bow my higher self to you all. I am more than this body. I am here to learn. It's ok.
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