Ah, so sorry about my last depressing blog. It was a bit of a bummer, but you know, getting out there and dating regularly takes big balls, and after Mr Eyebrows my
metaphorical nutshad shrunk to the size of marbles.
In the meantime I've dated three more men, all of which were interested in seeing me again, but only one of which has any hope of compatibility. He has rather lovely eyes, but was quite reserved in nature upon our first meeting.
Well, I was really late, I forgot how long it took to drive to Mt Eden, geeze. Perhaps he was reserved because waiting around for some woman from the internet wasn't his idea of a fun way to spend a Saturday morning. Fair enough too. Let's just say me and time do not always see eye to eye. I'm working on that.
We could call this guy Mr Singlet because he appears on the internet dating site wearing a white one and looking quite muscly armed and sexy. He's a little bit of a bloke I think, but I'm liking that more these days. Maybe my hormones are up the jiggery pokery, but a man who knows how to work things and pick things up looks pretty good to me these days. I usually like men who have some interest in art and hopefully reasonable taste in music ... but if I can have it all then why not? Supposed to be a man shortage on. Not for me. Lots of yummy men out there, it's just a matter of sorting through them and enjoying meeting the ones you do date. Oh, and not getting over excited on date two and then all bummed out if the dude hasn't got his shit sorted out. Some people never grow up, and that's got little to do with me. If I want to make it about me, then sure, I can. It just won't lead me anywhere I wanna go will it?
On facbook I made a comment about protecting your 'fire'. I thought of Bear Grylls (pwoarh) chomping away on maggots, starting fires in the middle of wherethefuck, and thought 'well if we protected our positive energy like a small fire in the amazon at night, then we'd stand a much better chance of being mentally healthy'. Instead we live so much of life by default, letting whatever random crap that comes along into our lives.
We'll watch the news and think it's all completely real, we'll devour sad stories like chocolate biscuits during a premenstrual binge, we'll suck up gossip through the straw of fear and excitement .... but protecting peace and joy is so far from the focus of society that we struggle to maintain it on a daily basis.
How I maintain it ...
I write something positive in the mornings, try to make sure I pleasure myself regularly (think nice thoughts!), watch good stand up comedy (thanks Nate, I am still introducing Louis CK to anyone who will let me), wear nice clothes, attempt to exercise more than once a week, love the cat, talk about good things, listen to music in the car, smile at myself in the mirror. Anything you can think of that helps.
OH!!! GET THIS: My eyesight has improved! Hadn't been to the optometrist for about 3 years, had been buying lenses off the net cheaper, finally went and got them seen to and the woman goes
"Your optic nerve is looking really good!"
Ha ha ha! Get it? My optic nerve is LOOKING REALLY GOOD. So, that's fine, but in addition to this my base curve (eyeball shape) has dropped from 8.6 to 8.4 and the power from -5 to 4.75. I reckon it's because I made a decision (about three years ago) that my eyesight would not get worse anymore.
Wahooee!
What else ... well, 'Wylie' has been in touch. Oh yeah, I know, yadda yadda, he's a bad bad man, he only wants to fuck me and use me. But I do want to resolve it for once and for all. I want to look in his eyes and ask him "what happened?".
I'm asking the angels for help on it. I can't do it on my own steam, it has to come from a part of me that's more evolved, otherwise I'll end up under the powers of my, er, 'base chakra'. Time to rise above (rise above! rise above! Is that Black Flag?).
My metaphorical nuts are getting bigger by the day. Watch out.
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