28th June 2012 (that's the 27th for Americans, Back To The Future!)
Land lady hugged me, Shitty Dream, Chocolate Raisins ...
Friendship
It was so good to have Lou and
Johnny visit on Saturday. Being with people who really like you for exactly who
you are is one of the best pills you can take. It’s also excellent to be friends
with a couple and not feel like a third wheel. Took ‘em on 'the walk', and we
ventured a little way into the bush. It rained on the way, but when the sun came out it looked like the
trees were emanating light. I pretended to be mentally deficient, but not as a slur against the intellectually disabled. It was therapy. Lisa was here over the weekend, and she went out with Tieneke and I to a yoga people party.
The Landy (Land Lady) Hugged Me
What’s funny is that I had already planned on
Lisa visiting weeks ago, and she had already agreed to help me with my place
long before the Landy relayed her dear Plumber’s views on my housekeeping
(or lack thereof).
I had liked my Landy prior to her telling me
that ‘it no problem till you come’ regarding her dodgy drains.
What I did consider was that she is excessively tidy herself, so seeing my place in such a mess would be really stressful for
her. I also gritted my teeth as I acknowledged the truth; ongoing clutter is
dirty. Sure, a pile here and there for a few days is fine, but my piles usually
sit there for a month.
When the Landy popped down to ask if things
were going okay with the plumbing, she
got a good eyeful of my sexy kitchen space. She was so delighted. She smiled
and said “good on you!” and grabbed me and hugged me. I said “well, I don’t
want you to think I don’t respect you”.
“Oh, that what my plumber say”
“Well yes, but of course you must feel that
way or you wouldn’t have told me that.”
“Sometime, people when they care, they tell
the hard thing.”
“Yes, that’s true”.
She also said something about the rainfall
being very heavy recently in regard to the plumbing. Lisa said it was a bit of back
tracking in her opinion. Let’s hope so.
In the meantime, I will get onto calling the Tenancy services
and make sure all my little duckies are in a row.
EFT
Hey, I think I’m going to try and make my own
EFT vids … hee hee, I’ll do funny ones (but they’ll be seriously effective).
Chocolate Raisins
So, raisins are chemical explosions of shite.
You have to get organic ones if you don’t want to accidentally embalm yourself. Whatever the case, I am craving choccie
raisins, so I must go and get organic ones and then dip them in dark, dark
chocolate. Excited? Me too. Yes Lou and Johnny, I will make some pour vous!
Shitty Dream
I live in this warehouse, and my bed is some
sort of makeshift mattress on the floor. I wake up and realize the Sexy Ex was
in bed with me. He’s somehow managed to sneak in!
“Ooh,” I think, “I’m so angry … but I do want
sex …”
In this conflicted state, I then notice that
the bed doesn’t feel very nice.
I get up and turn on the light and see that
the Sexy Ex has lost control of his bowels, and that there’s diarrhea through
the sheets. I feel quite sick, and woke him up. I feel sorry for him.
“Hey,” he smiles at me seductively
“I really missed you …”
“Ah, yeah, well do you realize you’ve … shit
in the bed?”
With horror he looks down and realizes what’s
happened. He apologises profusely and can’t understand how he did this in his
sleep.
“Hey,” I smile, “these things happen. Tell
you what, help me clean it up and then you can go.”
Well, what do you make of it? If you go for
the dream analysis where he is also part of me, then I guess it’s about not
shitting the bed, metaphorically or otherwise.
ADHD update! Yes folks, I’ve now been on ye olde Ritalin for just over a month now. What I’ve learned so far …
 |
| The before Picture (and there's more mess you can't see) |
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| Shelving helps, but without help I would've just filled it with crap. |
1) As I suspected, Ritalin is an excellent tool, but one you have to master. Someone could give you a piece of amazing equipment, but if you have no idea how to use it, then you might end up wasting a lot of opportunities.
An increased world of order and focus that has opened in my brain, but learning how to use it effectively is the challenge. I have to say, my online Scrabble is going well, but I need to delay gratification and do the dishes first.
This is pretty obvious stuff. We all know this, but I really do feel like it’s impossible when I look at a big pile of mess. I’ve always thought it was my character at fault (which others are quick to agree with), but now I know it’s possible to improve my situation. I’m so grateful that I have a manageable lack of dopamine in the brain, as opposed to say, taking a synthetic drug and eating off someone’s face (thanks for telling me about that Lou. You forgot to mention that the cannibal man was also naked. )
2) Get Help … yes, that means you might have to ask for it.
Yes indeed. I asked my dear friend Lisa (the Tattooed Lady of the North) to help me with my place (see photo for results). I thought she might donate an hour or two, but instead she spent from 4.30pm to almost midnight on Saturday helping me get the kitchen completely sorted. On Sunday she organized the bedroom well enough for me to tackle in the coming month. What worked about this is the way she spoke to me.
“What I thought we could do,” she said gently, “is pile everything on the bed. If it’s ok, we won’t stop and do any detailed sorting out, like looking at photos and reminiscing. Does that sound okay?”
“Yes, I’m Ritalined. Let’s do it.”
I bagged up stuff for the op shop, stuff to give away, and was so blown away by how good things looked that I felt a bit dizzy. When things were piled on the bed, we then started sorting, figuring out what went where. We stopped for a few breaks and she trusted me enough to cut and colour her hair.
“What if I cut the fringe wrong?”
“Oh,” she said smoothly, “I’ll just look like a nerd, and I don’t really mind that.”
Fortunately it looked good.
Throughout her stay with me, Lisa did the dishes quite quickly after a meal, and sometimes when she did things she said why and explained simple habits that were useful to keep. This really stuck with me, and I’ve since been able to keep up the standard set over the weekend.
As for the bedroom … that’s my mission for the weekend to come.
Lists are Your Friend
Yes, lists work for anyone, but they are ESSENTIAL for me now. An ADHD person needs structure in order to function well. If you have ADHD children, show them how to make lists and use them. Encourage them to feel empowered when they tick off the tasks they’ve accomplished.
Lisa advised that I write a list even for the simple things like my morning routine. She does it herself, and I was surprised when she said she writes down every task she has to do before she gets out the door, or she’ll forget something. I thought she magically KNEW how to do stuff and not get distracted and lose time. She said some people might, but that she likes writing lists anyway and gets a feeling of great satisfaction when she ticks things off.
I now have a little notebook in any bag I take out, not just for lists, but also for brilliant ideas.
I feel less guilt and anxiety these days. I didn’t even realize how much my mind mulched over things until recently. Like a relentless old washing machine chewing up your favourite jumper. Don’t get me wrong, someone can say something and I’ll still play it over and over in my mind, but it’s a little bit easier to switch channels or find a way to deal with it than it used to be.
Ooh, and I went and had another EXCELLENT healing with Karen Reid from The Healing Company. Wow. Very nice.
Love to you all! Go on, give a little love away.
Go on! You know you want to. Just remember, don’t shit where you eat (or sleep)
my friend.
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