Sunday 24th July 2011 ...The photos on this blog makes it look like it's still summer in New Zealand. This picture was taken on Waiheke in March, but I can't find the charger for my camera and so I'm posting pics that give the impression of an eternal summer.
It's raining all the time. It rains sideways too, so that an umbrella is rendered useless. It wasn't like that in Korea; it was dry and cold, so cold that it felt like evil elves were slashing my thighs with tiny razor blades. New Zealand weather is sort of annoying at times, but I am incredibly grateful to have escaped the bitter winter and cruel humidity of a Korean summer. I also appreciate our trees, oh our sweet sweet evergreens!
So to update you on my internet shennanigans:
The Nice Man:
I met the Nice Man about two weeks ago, the same weekend as Mr Sensitive. I didn't talk about him because he did nothing strange and I decided I might like to see him again. I did. Friday night we had drinks in Titirangi and I kept looking at him and trying to find him sexy. I wanted to because he was, well, y'know, really nice. He was generous, kind, dressed in no way to cause offence (T could not forgive the French intellectual's pin-striped shirt and pink tie), and seemed to be quite relaxed in his skin. All good things to be sure.
When it came to say goodbye, we kissed and it was fine. Not bad, no biting, but no fire works either. Bummer, bummer, bummer, bummer bummerchameleon. Oh well, guess I knew it wasn't really going to happen, but I always think having a kiss can't hurt when testing the chemistry stakes. If in doubt, get tongue.
After we parted ways, I went to my cousin's for her going away party. I drank too much and had to have a nap for a few hours in her bed before I could drive home. She assisted me down the crazy driveway of doom, a real Titirangi driveway, one you sometimes have to crawl down backwards if feeling insecure.
On the Saturday morning I was off for a Medi Facial. This involved a woman rubbing stuff on and off my face and basically trying to sell me really expensive skin care. She tried to imbue me with a creeping sense of despair over my 'crow's feet' and 'sun damaged' skin. I admit, the medi facial did leave my skin feeling really soft and you would never have known I was hung over and only got home at 4am that morning. I just didn't like the fear sell. If she'd been more flattering in her sales technique then I might have been more sucked in and wanted to buy the over priced serums she was flogging. I think I'll stick with my cheaper pottles a little longer though, but hey, watch this space, if I do decide to spend crazy amounts on vitamin a and c serums, I'll tell you if they work.
I've yet to tell you about Mr Kink, he was my post Medi Facial coffee date. I also fell off the wagon and went and texted Simon (the one I called Wylie in my Korea blog), but I feel a little better today and have it in perspective again. I loved him and sometimes I just feel really strange and sad about it all. That's ok.
Mr Kink was interesting. Really good to talk to, very very attractive, interesting taste in music ... but he just seemed Super Gay to me. I just couldn't imagine him with a woman at all, unless it was for the sake of novelty. There is more to say on this subject, but right now, it's time for beddy byes.
I have work issues that must be attended to tomorrow. I ask the Universe to help out on this one, it seems like all sorts of unnecessary tension has been stirred up and I felt really upset about it today. Now I can see the fabled light at the end of the tunnel; I know it's up to me to manage my own energy. I can't control anyone else, if they want to get upset that's up to them.
All I can to is be kind, listen and respectfully stand up for myself. I love my job, I don't want anything to jepordize it. Angels, aliens, gods, higher self, please step in!!!
And they did.
Mondeeeeee:
Yes folks, the angels, aliens and higher self, the very soul of goodness was present and correct for the unfolding of the day. My work colleagues were kind and I soon realised much of my spinning fearful moo moo mind had just taken me back to old experiences, and my heart and body were following. Ah, the heart and body following a fearful mind can only lead to a nasty little party, and not one anyone wants to go to. A pooh party for one. Hee hee!
So yes, the pooh party for one subsided last night, and by this morning I was feeling all chipper clipper do, put on my red coat, threw on some lippy and thus armed, faced the sideways rain with a smile.
I was at work most of the day and when we nearly thought we'd sorted out all the administration bullshit, it turned out we'd misunderstood something else, oh figures and shmiggers, it was all a bit numbery and boring. Had to be done, but Feather Girl was end of the tether girl ... it turned out that all this information we'd been updating had not saved! Eeek!!!
I know this because after I finished work, I went for a swim (first one in a long time) at the pools. I sat in the spa for 45 minutes, then swam for five minutes (four lengths), soaked again, washed my hair, poodled in the mirror and then looked longingly at the Archies pizza menu on my way home. As I did so, who did I see in Archies, but young Feather! She didn't recognise me for a minute (context is everything) and wondered why this strange woman was staring at her.
Invited myself to join her, had a feed and a wine (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!) and we had a really good yack about all sorts, including some dodgy experiences we've had in our lives.
What was truly amazing was that the Archies Lady was nice to us! I think Feather has to take credit for that, and I blame her smoking habit.
Feather asked the usually grumpy and unsmiling Archies Lady if they sold ciggarettes. The Archie's Lady smiled that no they didn't (OMG, a smile!) but went and got a pack from someone she knew and offered Feather one! She kept smiling at her! The woman must be a fellow smoker, delighted to see another PC free soul.
Feather happily accepted, we went outside while she puffed away, and I didn't even feel sick. The miracle of Feather's charm continued when we went back inside. Complimentary baileys. Fuck me duck me, it's enough to make one want to take up smoking. The smiles, the free treat, what the hell was going on?
I must conclude that Feather is in fact part angel and her powers have rendered the Archie's Lady helpless before her.
But I digress. I was, after all, going to tell you about Mr Kink. Yeah, we got on well, he was lovely, but I decided to be really honest (oh dear, thought he could take it ... wrong!!) at the conclusion of our two coffee date. I let him know I didn't think it was a romantic connection and he went all icy and non-smiling, very offended! Eek, it was awkward (and yes, say it like an American!) AWK-WARD!)
I was saying how much I liked his company and that I would like to keep in touch (and meant it sincerely) but he said something about his female friends being jealous, and he also said
"I'm a loner, I don't have a lot of friends."
Eek, fucky doo, I can see why. The nicer I was, the colder and shittier he got. He commented that I had moved further away from him physically throughout our interaction. I hadn't noticed, but I'm not one to move up close to someone immediately, even if I do fancy them.
He'd already told me he liked a bit of kink; this involved domination and submission, group sex (er, maybe not), and that he'd slept with men as well as women. The thing is, he just emanated gay energy in my opinion, and for this reason I couldn't imagine kissing him (unless it was to kiss a gay man, and that's only ever happened to me once when the man in question had just sniffed amyl nitrate and we were in a silly mood ... a long long time ago!). Oh, and if you count being kissed by a gay friend who wasn't yet out of the closet in 1988, which I don't.
So er, I said that I 'saw' him being with a man. He asked why, ooh jeeze, frosty the snowman had nothing on him in that moment. I said it was just a feeling ... "and I've known a lot of ..." and I stopped because Mr Kink was definitely turning Mr Stink, his eyes so incredibly glacial that I just stopped speaking. He informed me that although he enjoyed sleeping with men, it was only sexual, he wouldn't want to have a relationship with a man. He said he really loves the connection he has with a woman, that's what he wants. He said he was sick of people thinking he was gay. All I could think (and perhaps I am narrow minded, or maybe I've got a good gaydar) was De-Ni-Al!
Oh dear, the woman who ends up with you is going to have to let the kink lead the way, because a pussy only diet will definitely not satisfy.
I still felt I needed to connect with him, I didn't want to leave on a bad note, and his vibe was a real bummer after we'd been chatting so easily and having a perfectly gay time.
I tried again, "well the thing is, if we do remain in contact, and let's say I go to a party or something and invite you, then it could be really good ... because you never know, there might be three Dita Von Teese look a likes there!"
He had expressed a great admiration for Dita, but when I said this, he kept up the ice impression and replied "why would I want someone who looks like Dita Von Teese? What makes you think that?"
"Er, because you have a tattoo of her on your arm?"
"I like her, but it doesn't mean I want to find someone who looks like her, I admire her for the person she is ..." (blah blah blah). Yes, I did get his point, but he was being deliberately difficult now.
"Well ok, then someone who doesn't look like Dita Von Teese then, but still a really attractive and lovely person you might like and connect with. Imagine that there is this opportunity to connect, and so if we are in touch with each other, then we open up these chances for these kind of things to happen!"
He looked at me disdainfully.
"I think it's time for me to go" he said.
And whaddaya know? It really was.
The lesson? You can't make someone see outside their blinkers if that's what they really want to wear. Who knows what turns people on?
No comments:
Post a Comment