9th April 2013
I haven't written in awhile as helping mum move was a much bigger project than I originally imagined it to be. It was one of those situations where I kept repeating to myself 'it is what it is what it is ...'. Wonderfully calming. We fought of course. Bitched and carried on, but quick to make up, have a hug, cup of tea or coffee and then carry on.
I wonder if that's why I'm so different to other people who grow up in those more repressed environments where they didn't having screaming fights with their mother? I seem to have lots of friends like that. Overt aggression is not done, but neither are displays of affection. Mum was really strict on me growing up. Sort of treated me like I was an adult from a young age, but also encouraged a lot of silliness and self expression. An interesting mix. I am therefore a stickler for manners, but I might sing loudly while walking down the street. Don't try and tell me not to either. That would be rude of you. ;)
Anyway, moving mum was intense. I cursed myself for not asking anyone for help. The only friend who offered wasn't able to do so due to other commitments I asked the angels for a bit of assistance as I knew there was no way we were going to get everything out on the specified date. That day I got a text from ex-lover 'Wylie Coyote' .
He said he'd dreamt of me. I didn't ask what he dreamed. I asked if he had a trailer and wanted to help out. At first he made an excuse, but within another five minutes he was on board. Sort of freaky. I haven't seen him for more than a year ... or even two years? I had studiously avoided him due to his inability to tell the truth or commit to me. He looked amazing which was a pity. Long legs, broad shoulders, deep blue eyes. Good at backing a trailer. That sort. We behaved in a very platonic way. No flirting. No lingering hug. He texted me later saying I looked really good. I replied 'as do you'. I might be playing with fire, but it is nice to feel supported and desired.
I hadn't been the way of mountains in New Zealand for at least seven years, so the Easter break at National Park was most refreshing. The drop in temperature as we swooped along in Johnny's new second hand Lexus had me reaching for a jumper. He noticed that the Warrant did not display the same rego number as the car and started to quietly freak out. Lou and I joined in with quiet anxiety, imagining the car was stolen.
Fortunately there was a reasonable explanation quickly provided by the man who sold Johnny the car. In the meantime we concocted violent revenge scenarios worthy of the nastiest Tarantino script. The scenery slipped by in a cool blur of blues, greens and browns. Lake Taupo shone with a level of white light that felt over exposed and raw. We'd gone the long way and were exhausted by the time we traipsed in to the beaming reception provided by Ros and Nettie.
It was a truly lovely weekend. We walked for hours, then sat around and talked (three parts shit, one part depth). We ate a lot, drank mostly moderately and farted incessantly. It was a great success all round.
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| Walkin'. |
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| Walk Two: Lake with mist. Ros is the tall one. I am the other one.
Twas a great time of reflection. I pondered my choices in men, but mostly existed in the moment. I wondered how The Rooster was. He'll find a motherly new girlfriend soon enough I imagine. The Sexy Ex is moving in with his girlfriend. I was a bit surprised by this, but I wish him luck. I suspect that it's mainly a money saving scheme. Aint love grand.
I can't hang out with him anymore. I was fine being friends with him when I was in a relationship with The Rooster, but I am now single. When we caught up recently the chemistry still crackled between us. I might be single, but he isn't. So that's that. De-friended him on FB and said it would be best he didn't call. He said "I understand". I wonder if he does.
Whatever bro'. The sky is blue and the air is crisp. I don't feel at all lonely. I feel good. Life
is grand and wonderfully amusing. Onwards and hogwards! xxx
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